The Squat toilet is a bit of a conundrum for most Westerners. It is so unusual, that I would go to say that most Westerners have never seen one before coming to Asia. I know I had not. I am sure it probably exists inside some Asian communities in the West, but I have never seen one in the 40 years that I lived and worked in the West. Nor had I seen one in any Home Depot, Kent Lumber, or, you name it DIY store. They just do not exist. Westerners are not familiar with them.
However, there is a bit of a renaissance regarding squatting on the toilet to do your business. There is research out there to suggest that people find it easier to poop when squatting. So much so that there is a company dedicated to providing a squat experience while on a seat toilet. See the Squatty Potty below.
That being said there are still plenty of squat toilets in Thailand. Many homes have them, and many people use them every day. Some gas stations still have them, though now there are usually sit-down toilets available as well. When I first came to Thailand almost 28 years ago, there were a lot more squat toilets around. But they seem to be gradually being phased out. The end of an era? Not quite yet.
Most Westerners do not know how to navigate the squat toilet and let me tell you it is an experience. I detail my first experience with a squatter below.
But now there is even a Wikihow page on squatting to go to the toilet. Life is so much simpler these days.
I remember well one of my first girlfriends in Thailand had the family home fitted with a sit-down toilet before I was allowed to visit. They seemed to feel that it would be easier for me and I suppose it was felt to be a step forward for the family. First sit-down toilet in the village – yay! Bragging rights. I did not mind in the slightest, I do not like the squat toilet.
Squats – Not Just at the Gym
I know squats are good for you, and we should all do more of them (any of them) for our health. But, a squat toilet is a Westerner’s nightmare. We, or at least I, do not understand them. I know the basic mechanics and I also know that they are actually better for you for defecating, but to actually use one is not as simple as it seems.
The vast majority of squat toilets are manual flush – yep you guessed it there is a bowl and you need to flush the toilet by scooping water. I get that, I know how to do it.
But, how the hell do I use the thing without getting water all over my pants and underwear? I mean for a regular sitting toilet you drop your drawers and sit on the john. Unless there is water on the floor, you will not get water on your clothes.
Well, the squat toilet has water everywhere, so there is no way you are getting out of there with dry clothes unless you take them completely off and hang them up somewhere until you are done. Even then you have to get back into them on a wet floor, so you will most likely get some water on them. The squat toilet is the bane of my life and I avoid them if at all possible.
My First Squat – The Porcelain Demon
My first experience with a squat toilet was about 1 hour outside of Beijing China, we were heading southwest and had stopped for gas at a service station, and I was feeling the need to go number 2. Mostly because we had a celebratory dinner the night before to welcome us into the country and to celebrate the beginning of the job, we were going to do onshore of the Bohai Bay field.
Many beers were had, and spicy food was consumed. I had traveled from Canada the day before, had the beer and spicy food, and was now traveling in an SUV in rural China. For anyone who has not experienced traveling the roads in China, I invite you to give it a try. The rules of the road are more relaxed when you share the road with everything from large trucks to donkeys. People go where they need to go at their own pace, speed, and direction at times. You need to be aware at all times of everything around you.
I was lucky, so I thought, we had made it to the gas station in time, but something was imminent in my digestive tract. Time, while fleeting, was at this point of the essence. Fellow travelers will know what I mean.
I dashed inside and was confronted with this porcelain demon. It was a raised hole in the ground, with footrests on either side. I was confused, what was this? I was expecting a toilet.
I kid you not – it looked just like this picture.
I quickly dashed to an adjacent stall and was confronted with the same thing. I was out of options. I had no time; a decision was being made for me by my body. Whether I wanted to use this contraption or not I was going to. There was no other option.
This was my first experience with a squat toilet, so I did the usual, dropped my drawers, and attempted to squat over the hole and keep my drawers dry and my aim true. I am sure you can imagine the result. There was water everywhere and I am still trying to keep my shoes and clothes out of it and now I am faced with a dilemma.
How do I wipe my ass while holding my clothes up off the toilet, maintain my balance and escape this hell hole? I am telling you this was no easy task. My legs are already tired from squatting, over the toilet, I am trying to keep my clothes dry and wipe my ass with my other hand, without falling over. I was oh so lucky that there was a remnant of TP available for me to use in that toilet. I shudder to this day if there had not been something there to wipe my sorry ass, it would have been messy.
Sadly, there was no bum gun, though at that time I did not know anything about a bum gun, so I do not know if I would have used it if it had been available. This was in 1997, and I was still pretty green in the ways of the world. Now I prefer a bum over anything except the Japanese-style bidet toilet. Those are something special.
Eventually, I manage the wipe, groan myself back to an upright position, and pull my underwear and pants back on. Anyone from the West who is not doing squats at the gym knows how I am feeling. Sensations were rushing back into my legs as equilibrium was restored to my body.
I got the bailing bowl and bailed water out of the nearby trough until the porcelain demon was clean and got the hell out of there. I staggered back to the truck and slept the rest of the way to our destination. This first encounter with the porcelain demon still haunts me to this day.
Squat toilets are still Everywhere Here
It is true, that the squat toilet is still common here in Thailand. They are still sold in the hardware stores and are still installed in many homes, both in the city and in the countryside.
They are cheap and they work well. There are no moving parts for the ones that you flush with a ladle, so there is nothing to go wrong.
They are available in a variety of different colors and styles.
Here is a squat toilet with an automatic flush system hooked up in a nearby restaurant. The majority of toilets at the Wat are squat toilets, with a cistern for water to flush and a ladle. Sometimes there is a sit-down toilet there as well, but often it will only have a ladle to flush. The squat toilet is not going anywhere and based on new research it should be embraced.
Squatters Rights – Embracing the Squat
Research will tell you that squatting to use the toilet is better for you – it helps align the large intestine and facilitates bowel movements. I kid you not. See for yourself here.
In fact, there is a company in the US selling a stool that you put in front of the toilet to mimic the squat (it raises your knees while sitting on the john). The Squatty Potty.
This looks like a much easier option to me.
The Squatty Potty mimics the squat toilet without the squat and the problem of what to do with your clothes while squatting.
Displayed is the original Squatty Potty in the 9-inch version, they offer a 7-inch version as well.
Now if you just add a bum gun to the commode, you would be s_itting in high cotton.
In conclusion
The Squat toilet is everywhere in Thailand, Asia, and indeed Africa. It is simple in its design and construction. For a Westerner, it is difficult to use.
We are just not used to squatting, even if you do squats at the gym, you do not usually hold the position in the lowest extension for long. To use a squat toilet, you must be able to squat, stay there while you poop, then you need to “clean yourself up” and then get back on your feet.
However, there are benefits to “going” this way. Recent research tells us that squatting to “go” is easier on the bowels and people do not need to strain as much to go.
Before there was nobody to tell you how to navigate the treacherous squat toilet. Now we have Wikihow with instructions and pictures. My, how times have changed
Recently the Squat-to-go movement has seen a renaissance in the West with the advent of the Squatty Potty stools to raise your legs while sitting on the throne, so you can enjoy the benefits of the squat toilet, without the hazards. An invention whose time has certainly arrived.
Go with the flow…..